Ask the reaper

My mind, even I,
Cannot begin to decipher.
I can’t phantom the way my mind works.
I’m trying to get a grip.
But I’m catching air.

So many questions.
Like background noises turned up.
Trying to find half a needle in a haystack.

I begin to doubt,
Everything.
Over and over.
I can’t tell time.

Just the walls I stare at.
They have shapes.
No answers.
My pain.
Scratched out by my nails.

I crossed my heart.
My arms like shield.
Insecurity still weedle its way in.
Despair and paranoia
Reap like a reaper.
Feeding off me.

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