Young naive

At 10
I wanted to die
Cause they took my best friend away.
Bullied and lonely.

12
I didn’t know
That separation was
Cutting the knot.

At 14
I fell in love with books.
Fictional characters were my best friends.
I still remember
His name was Tony.

At 15
I thought of running away
Eloping with a lover.
When I had none
Depressed and naive.

16
I wanted a child
One of my own flesh and blood
To care
Give my love to
The one I never had.

18
I thought of marriage.
How much of a home I could build
For the one that gave me a child
And the love that I needed
So so bad.

19
Heartbroken.
Left to pick up the pieces
Love a soul that stole my heart
Left my heart on his door step
Walls reared up inside.

20 turning 21
Single.
Crushed.
Broken.
Hurt.
Childless.
Still holding on.
Barely crimping the edge.

At 6
Milk bottle in one hand
Stuff toy on another
Lying down drinking milk.
Rubbing the palm of my hands in circles on the nose of my favourite toy.
Ignorant and innocent.

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