Crashed

I admit that I was very moody today. This week actually  has been a very bad week. With test coming up and quizzes shoved in my face. I barely have time to settle down and think properly. I try to go to sleep early and pay attention in class, but I feel myself fading off.
Just today I met my lil sis for a movie after my award ceremony. But I studied first for tomorrow’s test.
So after I studied a little and decided on the movie timing, we went to have dinner. Though I wasn’t feeling well – with my breathless problem and chest pains again- I chose garden salad and butter garlic focaccia and Nana chose chicken wings and soup. I was quite pissed and annoyed when Nana couldn’t decide. Blame this on my period.
So food came and we had a convo going on, quite a heated one. But I would have never expected what was coming.
Halfway through my salad, I started picking on my vegs and I broke down. I can’t remember exactly what my thoughts were before the tears, but that was just… Painful.
Initially Nana was humming while picking her food, but she became so silent when she saw my tearstained cheeks.
I don’t know why or how. I always hold my tears back till I’m in bed, and yet, with so much control I have trained myself, I broke.
I just… Broke.
I’ll never fall in love again.
That’s one thing I’m sure about.
I have fallen once, it will remain there.

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