Last seen…

You hardly reply to my text anymore and I don’t know why. Our late night text has faded and you don’t really reply me like you used to. I always wonder what you’re doing and why haven’t you replied. I feel… Insignificant. Sadly to say. Now our convos are all short and fast. I miss us babe. I miss how we used to talk. I don’t know if its because with everything going on from the office argument till Hari Raya when you’re busy and with family that just stopped us from all this. I’m really upset about it. Sometimes I feel like offing my phone cause I know it won’t ring. In frustration, i throw my phone cause I felt like I messed things up and its all my fault and why can’t I just stop messing up and be good enough for anyone? When I need you, sometimes my fingers hover over my screen and I realize that you might be too busy to reply, and knowing that, I felt compliant to save my hurting heart cause I don’t know if you will reply and I’m afraid to feel rejected. So I put my phone away and hope I don’t feel the need to check it every few damn minutes if you replied to my text from the previous day. Sometimes, I tell myself that I must control and not text you, but I find myself sending a text as soon as I have a little something I wanna tell you or show you. I’m annoyed at myself.
My insecurity is of a higher level than average. These ain’t helping either. I know you can’t always be here for me, but I can’t keep going on like this. Not knowing, it makes my mental state worse. Its hard breaking a habit, but harder to break when things are supporting the habit. 

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