The demons speak louder now, in my doubt and in my state of numbness. It screams at me to believe in the doubt and live in it. But I don’t want to. I want to break free and feel again. To be able to think clearly, feel clearly.
I don’t want to be in a leash of negativity and at the mercy of never ending worry and numbness of depression, of the Post traumatic stress. Its not supposed to be this way. Its so numb that my need of pain becomes stronger. To be able to feel grounded, human.