A gust full of breath

I lay here, with echoes of your words replaying in my head, all in blood red.
With commercials statements as reminders that the one you love most, hurts you the most.

I try to overlook the pain and apologise. Feeling the razor letters of the phrase I read burned into memory. A gush of breath let out by me. That’s the impact of unsettling.

I didn’t want to have to read it over again and again. To develop a self concept based on your judgement of me. But it seems, indeed I already did.

It was excruciating to know that I’m not good enough for you. That my actions have hurt you to tell me I suck. I wonder every single time when you did it, do you ever think of what it would do to my head and my heart?

Even if it was true, do you know I would suffer when the scars reopened and split further? Maybe I’m exaggerating. But believe me cause I’ve been through this before and Every time I thought it was no more, it happens again.

I guess I’m just weak from your anger of me. Its sad to know I’ll be curling up to hide my tears from the light that shines on me.

But for now, goodnight, My lights are dimmed. I’ll see you tomorrow with fresh new sleeves. All that you’ll see, are not what is hidden beneath the cloth of cream.


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