Its so easy to rant all the negative things out here online. I can tell you all about why i feel like I’m crashing rapidly into myself.
He doesn’t want to see me any more than just work. At least that is what i gather. I just really… feels like i’m dying while i’m still breathing. I don’t think i have to explain all the other feelings that goes right along with it.
My sister is just being a real ass about me posting something about her, on social media and when she does it, its totally fine. I can’t even say No. I guess that is why i get sexually assaulted so much cause i’m afraid a simple No from me would upset people.
Work. Some people at work have all the right to give me attitude as and when they want, and treat me like shit, and when i just keep silent for one damn moment cause i’m just too focused on something else, i get scolded, rumored and slammed down. How horrible society is becoming.
I’m up to my neck on stress and pain and i have absolutely no one to talk to. I feel like ramming myself into a speeding car. This is when i realize that i have been followed by the dark clouds.
I never thought i would have the urge to physically hurt myself again, i guess i could not be more wrong, i just feel like plunging a knife straight into my chest, punching every part of myself instead of feeling this horrible anxiety eat me up.
I keep replaying all our dates, all our memories and it just chokes me up. I really feel like i’m dying and there will be no one to help me. I’m at the end of my life. The last of my IV drip is dropping its last.