Have you ever been in shock? And no, not the kind of shock where someone tells you an unexpected news and you go into disbelief, but the kind of shock you get from immense pain.
I wasn’t one to cry when i fall and scrap my knee, i would just groan in pain and suck air in through my teeth. But, this time it is too much for me.
I was on the way to the bus stop after work, and i saw my bus making its stop, so i decided to hurry a little to catch it, and even though i can remember exactly how i fell, it is hard to explain how it happened, all i know was my sneakers or my feet would not make a proper step and somehow, my toes felt like it was stuck in a hole on the pavement.
My mom think its a supernatural event, you know, ghost tripping me? Then she asked me to say a prayer. Well, i guess it can’t hurt.
So, as i stood in the bus, with both my palms bleeding and secreting a never-ending stream of pus, i kept sucking air in through my teeth, and try to contain the fire burning on the palms and pus pooling in the middle of my hands. About halfway through, people start to realize my open wound and offer my tissue, wet tissue and plaster.
That was the first shock, my body was trembling, as i sat down on an empty seat.
The second shock came when i was eager to wash the dirt and grim off the wound, which is now stubbornly stuck on the surface. Then i went to collect and learn how to put on my contact lenses.
The last and final shock, was well after my ballet class, where i never felt pain at all, I guess doing things you love helps to lessen the pain. The most immense pain i have felt, was during my shower. It was searing my flesh and swelling the edges. I choked on the rapid breaths and silent cry that the water has made. Huffing out air whenever the pain faded. But the worse is yet to come.
I barely showered properly, cause i was just eager to get out and get it over with. And then there i stood, shivering and trembling at the door of my room, barely able to move. But that was just child’s play as compared to the aloe vera my mom squeezed onto my open wounds. It was all kinds of pain at once. I could feel my neurons sizzling up and my nerves getting inflamed.
This time, i was bawling. Tears were streaming down my cheeks and my toes were crunching up in agony and i was rocking back and forth like how i used to. It was worse than 50 shades of pain.
My body went into shock. I could not get up or move to take a tissue to wipe the ointment away. I was paralyzed. My body rejected any movement. I started to stare at nothing.
The pain sucked the life force out of me. I am left empty. Drained. This time, no one is here to help me.