Pesky things

Do you know the pesky things called feelings?

Well, i hate them. Not really, just a bit. Okay, more often than not.

Its like thorn wires wrapped around your heart and when the dark beast of the night creeps upon you, it pulls the wires so tight that you don’t only suffocate but physically hurt and can literally feel your heart bleeding all over your ribs.

Thats how much pain I’m in. I’ve been suppressing all my feelings by getting myself distracted in the day by watching Netflix and all the stupid mundane stuff that supposed to make humans enjoy but at night when it ball drops, i just can’t handle it.

The worse part was that I thought that i was getting better but I wasn’t. I was just falling slowly, inch by inch, every night into the dark pit again and now it seems like its too late, too dark to find my way out.

I don’t know how it happen. How did this happen Joy? Aren’t you supposed to live up to your name?

Someone tell me, I’m begging. How to i get out of this abyss that i have fallen into?

How do i find the strength to keep myself away from harm when it gets dark? How to i remove those pesky things?

How do i… live?

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